Suits, Sass, Gods and AC Slater

“We know that Diego was a legend in the jersey. Now it’s time to make a suit that behooves him. Diego, we want to see you as in ’86, lifting the Cup before the whole world. Leave the jersey to the mortals; it’s time for God to put on a suit.”

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"A suit for Diego"

Facebook is gay enough without being implored to join pirate wars or virtual wank-offs, but, occasionally, good things happen; someone actually puts a fair bit of effort into a stupid idea, allowing it to creep over the line into smirk-worthiness. And the campaign to have Maradona wear a suit at the World Cup certainly meets both these categories.

First we had campaign for campaign for Messi to adopt a Diego-style mop in order to ensure a repeat of el 10’s masterclass of ’86. But they did not stop at the crudely-doctored photo – rather, they appealed to the aerodynamic qualities of the hairdo, which apparently allows wind to stream over the entire top of the head “increasing downforce and reducing drag in much the same way as a Formula 1 car”. Questionable theory? The authors cite empiric evidence in the form of René Higuita and Valderrama to bolster their case. If they had but know, sure Johnny Giles also offers near-conclusive evidence. Messi, however, even in his lank-haired incarnation, is tearing things up quite well without these tweaks and looks set to ignore science as he seeks victory in South Africa.

Diego disguised as a seal

Diego’s hair remains more or less the same since those days but another group of preoccupied well-wishers have decided that the oft overlooked elements such as sartorial elegance may be key in claiming the coveted Cup. Adidas have already obliged by designing shirts resembling those worn in Mexico. Yet a mere touch of nostalgia will not be enough! Therefore, a new campaign has been launched to fit Diego with a brand new suit for the World Cup. No longer the scarf-waving Diego of Germany 2006, nor the seal splashing about on the pitch of the Monumental at the end of that Peru match. A new Diego, dignified as befitting his status as manager of one of the teams that the bookies are coyly quoting at an oh-so tempting price (8/1); not castrated, just classy.

As the page itself says: “We know that Diego was a legend in the jersey. Now it’s time to make a suit that behooves him. Diego, we want to see you as in ’86, lifting the Cup before the whole world. Leave the jersey to the mortals; it’s time for God to put on a suit.” The website is quite good, too; they’ve made a video:

Such is their enthusiasm, they even break into blank verse:

Dragbacks, stepovers, he did at his will, without giving a damn.

From Fiorito to the top of the world. All on his lonesome.

They took the legs from under him but he, true to his style, just kept on walking.

With the captain’s band on his arm, he put the team on his shoulder, the world at his feet.

The number 10, a suit of armour that made even the Gods blush, bashful in the presence of such greatness in just one… person?

Yesterday, a gladiator on the pitch, his body draped in bands of celeste y blanco.

Today, a God in suit and tie, guiding us towards victory.

Join us so that Maradona will wear a suit at all the games in the World Cup in South Africa 2010.

There are other stupid/awesome things like a ‘game’ where you can dress an incredibly buff Maradona up in a suit of your choice. However, the ultimate aim of the campaign is to auction off the suit after the World Cup in order to raise funds for people living in Chaco and other really, really deprived areas in the north of Argentina. As usual, i’m not sure how this petition system works in the absence of concrete constitutional guarantees, yet pegamequemegusta feels an affinity with a people who spend a lot of time on something with nothing expected in return – indeed where the potential for mockery and slander far outweighs that of a chancy caress of one’s ego. Pegamequemegusta feels like God – though with a far worse hairstyle, apparently.

Diego does a good AC Slater impression

2 thoughts on “Suits, Sass, Gods and AC Slater”

  1. I just saw this post. Actually this campaign is mine with a group of friends, so thanks for what you wrote! Do you live in Argentina or did you just see the viral campaign in the media?
    Anyways, I’m glad you liked the iniciative!
    K.

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